Want New Friends?

8 Ways to Make Yourself More Likable

You can't actually make someone like you, but you can behave in ways that will make you more likable.

We all want to feel that other people enjoy being with us.  Having close relationships is one of the most meaningful elements to happiness.  It's not always easy to make friends, however.  To form a friendship, you must like someone -- and you must also be likable.

How can you boost the chances that someone will like you?  Here are eight stragegies to keep in mind -- not ways to manipulate people or to be fake -- but to make sure that your desire to be friendly effectively shines through:

1. Smile.  Studies do show that the amount of time you smile during a conversation has a direct impact on how friendly you are perceived.  People mimic the expressions on the faces they see, so if you smile, you are more likely to be smiled at.  (Scientists have identified 19 types of smiles.)
2. Be easily impressed, entertained, and interested.  Most people get more pleasure from wowing you with their humor and insight than from being wowed by your humor and insight.
3. Have a friendly, open, and engaged demeaner.  Lean toward people, nod, say "Uh-huh," turn your body to face the other person's body.  Don't turn your body away, cross your arms, answer in monosyllables, or scan the room as the other person talks.
4. Remember trait transfer.  In "trait transfer," whatever you say about other people influences how people see you.  If you describe a co-worker as brilliant and charismatic, your acquaintance will tend to associate you with those qualities.  Conversely, if you describe a co-worker as arrogant and obnoxious, thos traits will stick to you, so watch what you say.
5. Laugh at yourself.  Showing vulnerability and a sense of humor makes you more likable and approachable.
6. Radiate energy and good humor.  People catch the emotions of other people (called emotional contagion) and people prefer to catch an upbeat, energetic mood. 
7. Show your liking for another person.  We're much more apt to like someone if we think that person likes us. 
8. Remember the person's name.  Here are some tips for to help you remember.