Thought of the Day - 3/7/10

Guilt and Resentment

Guilt and resentment are states of mind that destroy love and create suffering. They seem to be caused by what happened but they're not. They are caused by how you relate to what happened.

Fortunately, since you created them, you can also release them. 


Guilt

When you have guilt, you reinforce the feelings of being not okay. You lose your confidence and self-respect. You feel undeserving and you hold yourself back.

The key to releasing guilt is to recognize that we all go through life doing the very best we can with the  limited skills and awareness that we have at the time.

Unfortunately, the awareness that we have is seldom enough. As a result we make mistakes. Sometimes we make big ones.

Making mistakes is part of the human process. This is how we learn. Every time you make a mistake you learn a little more about life. You then become wiser and more aware.

Five years from now you will be much wiser than you are today, but the wisdom you will have five years from now doesn't do you any good today. This is true because today, you don't have it.

Likewise the wisdom that you have today didn't do you any good back when you made your mistake. This is true because back then, you didn't know what you know today. You only knew what you knew.

To see this in your life, go back in time to the moment you made your mistake. Notice that at the time, you had a very particular state of mind and a very particular way of seeing life. Notice that you acted totally consistent with "where you were" at the moment.

If you knew then what you know today, you could have acted very differently, but you didn't. Even if you thought you knew better, you didn't know the consequences like you do today.

So here is the big question: Are you willing to forgive yourself for not knowing? Are you willing to forgive yourself for not being wiser and more aware? You might as well. If you look, you did the very best you could with "where you were" at the time.

Forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for not being wiser and more aware. Forgive yourself for acting consistent with your limited awareness and forgive yourself for the damage that you caused as a result of your not knowing.

Allow yourself to be human.


Resentment

When you have a resentment, a major part of you closes down. You become bitter and less able to express your love. You lose your aliveness and your joy for life. You put up walls of protection and you make your life more difficult.

Letting go of a resentment is not for the benefit of the other person. Letting go of a resentment is for you.

When you resent someone, you are saying very forcefully, that the other person is the problem, the cause and the fault. Not you. You forcefully blame the other person so you don't have to look at yourself.

If you looked at yourself, you would have to experience all the hurt from what happened. You would have to feel all the hurt of being not good enough, not worth loving, or some other form of not okay. To avoid this hurt, you resent.

The first step in releasing a resentment is to be willing to feel this hurt. Look under the resentment and find the hurt. Find the feelings of being not good enough or not worth loving that you are avoiding. Then be willing to experience them. Cry if you can. Once you are willing to feel this hurt, you no longer need the resentment.

The next step is to notice that the person you resent has a very particular state of mind and a very particular way of seeing life. Notice that this person has a very limited awareness and acts totally consistent with his or her limited skills and ability.

Now notice that if this person was wiser and more aware, then he or she would be able to act very differently, but the person isn't wiser and more aware. This person only has the limited awareness that he or she has.

Notice that this person is doing the very best he or she can with his or her ability. Notice how much this person suffers as a result of his or her limited equipment.

Now ask yourself:  Are you willing to forgive this person for not being wiser and more aware? Are you willing to forgive this person for acting consistent with his or her limited ability? Are you willing for forgive this person for the damage that was caused?

Remember that forgiveness is for you, not the other person. Forgiveness is a choice. Let go of your resentment and get on with your life.

Becoming Blind to the Beauty of Life

My biggest regret ever is being blind to the world. Getting caught up in my problems, and my life, and not seeing the true beauty of life. I regret trying to take my own life, and ruining my friendships. I regret hurting people that way, when they watched me suffer, and not letting them help. I regret losing God in my life, and losing focus of what life is really like. I regret shutting my eyes to hope.

Thankfully, God continued to love me and bring friends into my life who cared.  I now see the beauty of life.  I now have hope.  I now focus on God.

Thought of the Day - 3/6/10

Thought of the Day - 3/5/10

A smile makes everything better.

Job Chart

Now, more than ever, it's crucial for us to teach our children the importance of a strong work ethic and the value of a dollar. However, sometimes real life gets in the way, and we don't reinforce these values as much as we'd like. What Mom hasn't washed the dishes herself so that they would be done sooner (and cleaner) rather than enlisting the efforts of little helpers? And with the lure of video games, online sites, and interactive toys from the next room, it can be nearly impossible to engage the interest of our children.

Luckily, I was just introduced to a service that helps carrying out our best intentions easier. My Job Chart is a FREE online Chore Chart that teaches kids to work in a fun and productive way. Using an easy and fun online system, My Job Chart inspires kids to do their chores on time. An interactive point system tracks your child's progress, creating excitement and enthusiasm among kids. And the fully customizable chore chart allows you and your child to decide upon mutually determined rewards, fostering communication and developing responsibility. You even get an email or text message when your kids finish their chores or they earn a reward.

Thought of the Day - 3/4/10

It's not what you look at that matters. It's what you see.
~~ Henry David Thoreau ~

Thought of the Day - 3/3/10

Vision is the art of seeing what is invisible to others.
~~ Jonathan Swift, Author  ~~

God's Rules

1. Wake Up!  Decide to have a good day.  Today is the day the Lord hath made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.  Psalms 118:24

2. Dress Up!  The best way to dress up is to put on a smile. A smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.  The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at outward appearance; but the Lord looks at the heart.  I Samuel 16:7

3 . Shut Up!  Say nice things and learn to listen. God gave us two ears and one mouth, so He must have meant for us to do twice as much listening as talking.  He who guards his lips guards his soul.  Proverbs 13:3

4. Stand Up!  For what you believe in. Stand for something or you will fall for anything.  Let us not be weary in doing good; for at the proper time, we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good.  Galatians 6:9-10
 
5.  Look Up!  To the Lord.  I can do everything through Christ who strengthens me.  Philippians 4:13

6. Reach Up!  For something higher.  Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not unto your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him,  and He will direct your path.  Proverbs 3:5-6

7. Lift Up!  Your Prayers.  Do not worry about anything; instead pray about everything.  Philippians 4:6

Thought of the Day - 3/2/10

One’s destination is never a place, but a new way of seeing things.
~~ Henry Miller ~~

5 Items Every Woman Should Have

1. A signature perfume.
2. A bra that actually fits.
3. A power drill.
4. A great go-to recipe.
5. A copy of Maya Angelou's Phenomenal Woman.

Thought of the Day - 3/1/10

When you are through changing, you are through.
~~ Bruce Barton ~~