Make Me Laugh Monday - Words from the Scale

Avoid any diet that discourages the use of hot fudge.
~~ Don Kardong ~~

I've decided that perhaps I'm bulimic and just keep forgetting to purge.
~~ Paula Poundstone ~~

You can't lose weight by talking about it. You have to keep your mouth shut.
~~ Author Unknown ~~

I think I just ate my willpower.
~~ Author Unknown ~~

Dieting is not a piece of cake.
~~ Author Unknown ~~

I'm not overweight. I'm just nine inches too short.
~~ Shelley Winters ~~

When I buy cookies I eat just four and throw the rest away. But first I spray them with Raid so I won't dig them out of the garbage later. Be careful, though, because that Raid really doesn't taste that bad.
~~ Janette Barber ~~


Join me in the fun and giggles of making Mondays a better day by sharing some laughs. Add your link to your Make Me Laugh Monday post to Mr. Linky below. (All links not leading directly to your post will be deleted.) All posts should be funny in some way. Yes, this is up to interpretation. Ideas include riddles, funny family stories, comic strips, jokes, silly graphics, funny lyrics, hilarious photos, etc. Please don't leave me to snicker all alone. I'm sure YOU have something funny to share.




All these quotes were found at The Quote Garden.

What I Did... What Did You Do?

I did the macarena with a homeless guy because I'm sexy and I do what I want.

Pick the month you were born in:
Jan–I kicked
Feb–I loved
Mar–I karate chopped
Apr–I licked
May–I jumped on
Jun–I smelled
Jul–I did the macarena with
Aug–I had lunch with
Sep–I danced with
Oct–I sang to
Nov–I yelled at
Dec–I ran over

Pick the date you were born on:
1–a birdbath
2–a monster
3–a phone
4–a fork
5–a snowman
6–a gangster
7–my cell phone
8–my dog
9–my best friends’ boyfriend
10–my neighbor
11–my science teacher
12–a banana
13–a fireman
14–a stuffed animal
15–a goat
16–a pickle
17–your mom
18–a spoon
19–a smurf
20–a baseball bat
21–a ninja
22–Chuck Norris
23–a noodle
24–a squirrel
25–a football player
26–my sister
27–my brother
28–an ipod
29–a surfer
30–a llama
31–a homeless guy

Pick the color of shirt you are wearing:
White–because I’m cool like that.
Black–because that’s how I roll.
Pink–because I’m not crazy.
Red–because the voices told me to.
Blue–because I’m sexy and I do what I want.
Green–because I think I need some serious help.
Purple–because I’m awesome.
Gray–because Big Bird said to and he’s my leader.
Yellow–because someone offered me $1.
Orange–because my family thinks I’m crazy.
Brown–because I can.
Other–because I’m a Ninja.
None–because I can ‘t control myself.

Let me know what YOU did by leaving a comment below.

A Part of Ourselves

There is that part of ourselves that feels ugly, deformed, unacceptable. That part, above all, we must learn to cherish, embrace, and call by name. Each of us has characteristics we define as good and those we define as bad. The parts of ourselves that we continually reject want to be acknowledged and loved. Until we honor these aspects, they will continue to assert themselves. They will do whatever they can to get our attention.

What aspects of yourself do you reject?

Take a few moments to open to the parts of yourself that you do not love. See each one honestly for what it is. Explore the wounds and the motives that gave rise to its condition. Love a wounded part of yourself and it will heal.

The first step toward change is acceptance. Once you accept yourself, you open the door to change. That's all you have to do. Change is not something you do, it's something you allow.

Are You Happy?

Thought of the Day - 5/24/09

The Grammar of Life

Said a Professor of English:
Live in the active voice, not the passive.

Thank more about what you make happen
than what happens to you.

Live in the indicative mood,
rather than the subjunctive.

Be concerned with things as they are
rather than as they might be.

Live in the present tense,
facing the duty at hand
Without regret for the past
or worry for the future.

Live in the first person, criticizing yourself
rather than finding fault with others.

Live in the singular number,
Caring more for the approval of your own conscience
than for the applause of the crowd.

And if you want a verb to conjugate,
You cannot do better than to take The verb ‘to love’.

~~ Author Unknown ~~

What Color Green Are You?

You Are Olive Green

You are the most real of all the green shades. You're always true to yourself. For you, authenticity and honesty are very important... both in others and yourself. You are grounded and secure. It takes a lot to shake you. People see you as dependable, probably the most dependable person they know.

What Color Green Are You?

Unintended Consequences of Mom Blogging

It is my assertion that every mom blogger has the right to run her blog the way she sees fit without public condemnation and wayward judgments. Beyond honesty, there are no concrete standards by which all mom bloggers should adhere. Read more at Mom Bloggers Club.

I believe as mom bloggers we have the innate capacity to rise to greater levels of compassion and appreciation for one another

No Matter How Much

I have a huge 'to do' list for this weekend. A good chunk of today is already gone, and I've gotten majorly sidetracked. Sometimes it is plain hard to find the energy just to get up in the morning! Seems like no matter how much I get accomplished, the list just gets longer.

Thought of the Day - 5/23/09

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity. It turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.
~~ Melodie Beattie ~~

Thought of the Day - 5/22/09

We cannot live for ourselves alone. Our lives are connected by a thousand invisible threads, and along these sympathetic fibers, our actions run as causes and return to us as results.
~~ Herman Melville ~~

Mom to Mom Quiz

Take this fun Mom to Mom quiz and discover your parenting style.

Thought of the Day - 5/21/09

Making a decision to have a child – it’s momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.
~~ Elizabeth Stone ~~

Works for Me Wednesday #18

Tech 911

Quick fixes to try before calling customer support or the repair shop.

Dropped Cell Phone in Water

If you act fast, your phone might not call it quits. Remove the battery and SIM card then wipe everything off. Use a vacuum to suck out the moisture, and let air-dry for a day or two (or more) before reassembling. Don't power up before then, or it could short out. It still may not work, but what do you have to lose -- other than a busted phone?

CD Stuck in Computer

For a PC, poke the end of a paper clip into the small hole on the CD/DVD drive to depress the internal button. Hold it in until the tray pops open. On a Mac, if dragging the disc icon to the trash icon doesn't do it, quit all applications and restart computer while holding down the mouse button while rebooting.

Spilled Drink on Keyboard

Turn the keyboard upside down and disconnect it. Let dry, at least, 24 to 48 hours before plugging it back in. A blow-dryer set on cool can help. Take a premoistened wipe to the surface.

DVR Didn't Tape Show

If you are certain the show was in your queue, it may have been recorded but deleted. Check the settings: The DVR may be saving only one episode, so the newest one overwrites what's stored. To catch what you missed, try the network's Website or a video site like Hulu.

To get more tips for just about everything, check out We Are THAT Family.

All Pro Dad Teams Up with Head Start

All Pro Dad has started a new partnership with Head Start. Head Start is a nationwide government agency that exists to help over one million young, at-risk children prepare for school so they do not fall behind when they begin kindergarten.

"We are pleased to be working with All Pro Dad to help the Head Start Programs build strong bonds between fathers and their children", says Head Start Executive Director Michael McGrady.

All Pro Dad will be rolling out its father and kids monthly breakfast program with Head Starts all across the country. This event features good food, fun and meaningful, relationship-building activities between dads and their kids

What Did You Do Today?

I voted today. What did you do?

Thought of the Day - 5/20/09

Friendship is always a sweet responsibility, never an opportunity.
~~ Kahlil Gibran ~~

Thought of the Day - 5/19/09

The more you have,the more you're occupied; the less you have, the more free you are.
~~ Mother Teresa ~~

Stress Busters for Busy Parents

Always have a 'Plan B.'
Make copies of important papers.
Praise other people.
Look at a work of art.
Quit trying to fix other people.
Keep a journal.
Ask for help when you need it.
Watch a good movie.
Kiss your child.
Eat a meal by candlelight.
Clean out a closet.
Learn something new.
Make duplicate keys.
Get enough sleep.
Have a support network.
Talk less.
Smile.
Prepare for the morning the night before.
Feed the birds.
Have realistic goals for yourself.
Be a better listener.
Avoid negative people.
Plant a flower.
Repair something that doesn't work.
Find the "silver lining."
Dance.
Avoid tight fitting clothes.
Be gentle.
Remember you are human.

Originally written for Parents Page, Fall 2003.

Thought of the Day - 5/18/09

What I do today is important because I'm exchanging a day of my life for it.
~~ Author Unknown ~~

Thought of the Day - 5/17/09

Do something for somebody every day for which you don't get paid.
~~ Albert Schweitzer ~~