Amber Alert

Love, Doubt, and Thumbs

He told me he loved me. I listened with only half an ear. The rest of my attention strayed. Perhaps our family values were different. Perhaps our religious values were different. Perhaps . . . I was using anything that came along to divert my thoughts from exactly the questions I should be carefully thinking over. Trying to solve the puzzle of my son's mental health issues is more savory to me than the conundrum my own life had become.

I should be happy, right? He said he loves me. But it was not from whom I expected or wanted it from.

I have made mistakes in the past. No doubt I am going to make a lot more. The trouble came with making choices that felt so right or so good while they were in progress. I gave my eldest son up for adoption 20 years ago and it still felt like the right choice. So why lately does it hurt so much?

With being "down for the count" for over 48 hours due to shots received in my right shoulder, I have had too much time to think, and then my mind rambles. I have been looking deep inside myself trying to discover who I am.

I am still searching for me but I do know that I am an independent, single mother who still needs love and still craves sucking her thumb when not feeling well.

3 cherished words:

Tami said...

Storm,

You go with your heart, and prayers and where they guide you. Your heart never lies, and their eyes are the windows to their souls.

I'm sorry your feeling down today. I could feel it in your words, hear it in your silent voice. I'm praying for you..

GOD BLESS YOU STORM

enhenyero said...

there is always second chance, keep on...

Storm said...

Thanks, Tami, for the encouragement and prayers.

There is always a second chance for many situations.

 
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